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BYRD
FLIES at SWINT
Snowy Bouffant Seen as Possible Wing
by Jesse Miller
There
were two parts to Senator Byrd's presentation this morning at Swint Hall.
In the first, an overview of the history and evolution of the United States
Constitution was presented. Each audience member got a copy of the Constitution,
and it was like Political Science 101, although Dr. Rugely subsequently
declared he was not in the habit of citing those times before the Roman
Empire, in the presentation of the evolution of the Constitution.
There was talk about how wonderful the Constitution is, with its separation of powers into the three branches of government. There was a look at why and how this came about. There was no mention what so ever of the people that were already here when this so called greatest form of government plopped itself onto the front lawn of an established and viable civilization and began to kill everything in sight as well over the nearest horizon.
The speech was divided into two broad parts. Between sections, there was
jolly mingling and talking, and we were invited to submit questions on
little 3X5 inch cards. 
My
query had to do with the American Indian question as alluded above.
Upon reconvening, Senator Byrd offered to share information about the "Power of the Purse" this was the buzz phrase I was looking for since entering the room. "The Power of the Purse." Senator Byrd uttered this phrase with the fervor of a Hare Krsna Devotee chanting the Maha Mantra. "The Power of the Purse. The Power of the Purse." I was beginning to get the feeling we would be asked to say it with him.
The point was, according to Senator Byrd, the enabling of the President's line item veto was a dangerous trans constitutional breech which threatens us all by enabling the sissy in office to threaten the legislative and judicial branches. Either the President is potentially bad (even though he is weak compared to all others who have gone before him and has only secured a measly 25% of the popular vote) because he is going to misuse the Power of the Purse, or the president is bad because he is going to use the Power of the Purse to stop certain senators who have made their living by squeezing the Proverbial Power of the Pork barrel like an accordion.
My notes bear annotations like, disingenuous, proselytizing and hyperbole. Senator Byrd had an ax to grind, but the hands that were wielding would not stop shaking with the breeze, in time with his shimmering mountain mane of white hair.
After the talk, only pandering questions were entertained. I am certain
Senator Byrd was told about the Indian question though. From left field,
he launched an amazing dialogue straight from the 50's in which a bigot
wants to show that he is not a bigot by invoking the "Some of my
best friends are ..." line. I was looking over my shoulder for Elvis
before he was done.
"I have a friend who is an Indian," Senator Byrd intoned. He made his voice sound like Bob Sheppard, the announcer for the New York Yankees. "And I told him, your people are being insulted by this term ... this ... ‘Native American.' ..." Senator Byrd pivoted on the balls of both feet and swung his arms together, fingers pointing, as if enacting a skeet shoot. It was a graceful gesture, and it finished with his profile displayed, the lion's head tilted towards where a balcony might be. Holding that way for a moment, the Senator began crooning sonoro profundo, "We are all Native Americans." Although he waited for a moment, there was no applause.
Undaunted, he swung his arms together in the other direction. I thought I saw a swimming motion, sort of a butterfly stroke. Both hands ended with the fingers up Nixonesque, the fingers in v's. "I have very little use for political correctness," he announced. This brought applause. Even I had to clap. The man was virtually milking thin air. Sometimes it was better not to try to understand what he was saying as much as just enjoy the colorful way was he was saying it.
I like Senator Byrd very much. His staff has personally helped this family once ... in just the way a Senate staff should. He is colorful and graceful, and it is even nice to see him mix his centuries as he did in calling 1757 "1957." Perfectly natural, particularly if you have apparently been around at both times. Watching, perhaps just saying "no."
One of the best lines of the
day came I believe from Senator Byrd's desire to leave no vote stub unkissed.
It ca
me
when he was comparing Lyndon Johnson to Billy
Bob Clinton, and he was talking about his refusal to vote for the Civil
Rights Bill in 1964. It is no secret that Senator Byrd has nothing but
the most expedient leanings. At the time, for him, it was the right thing
to do to get elected. Now however, after citing that time, and taking
credit for having the guts to say no, he goes the other way, and with
a voice barely controlled, he declares how a man can be wrong. A man can
change. A man can learn, and if he had it to do over again, he would do
it differently ... and the reason? Ostensibly, it was because he was surrounded
by powerful minds and lawyers. (Now the great line) It was because he
was fresh out of school ... he was ... young ... only 45 years old way
back then!!
Gotta love the guy. All the way. Of course I'd vote for him. But the line item veto may be a very good thing. Perhaps just because he dislikes it.
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